HOMEPAGE | EPISODE GUIDE | THE CAST | GUEST STARS | SCREEN CAPTURES
FIRST SCREENED: 3 August 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Mark Hamill, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Lucky the Dog WonderSYNOPSIS: Joanie loves Chauci, who might be a robot, but Billy knows something the others don't. Dissolve to an exterior shot of the San Fernando Valley where a giant ant clambers over a boulder. Zoom out to reveal the valley is part of a model train set, the tracks of which are made of gold. The ant crushes the model train set with its enormous mandibles & children run screaming. Wilbur's had it with these ants, & he lines up the pesky varmint in his sights. "That's the third train set this month," he sighs, mournfully.
FIRST SCREENED: 10 August 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Mark Hamill, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Stock Footage of the Hindenburg DisasterSYNOPSIS: Wilbur is racked by guilt, and retires to a local bar, where the tarot reader might be more she seems. Billy is prospecting for diamonds somewhere in Ohio, but the canny locals suspect he's really researching his novel, and want no part of it. Meanwhile, a long tracking shot begins to get unsettling as Joanie drifts through virtual reality. Chauci's involved in a hit and run, but who's hit, & who's running? Tune in next week.
FIRST SCREENED: 17 August 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Mark Hamill, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: The IBM CorporationSYNOPSIS: Chauci realises something's amiss and the music begins to swell. Later that night, Joanie's flatmate receives an important message from a valued sponsor, and if people would just listen, the kids would be alright. But this is no magic roundabout! Joanie controls the tractors as Chauci swings to the rescue. A long time passes very slowly, then there's flashbacks. Wilbur is haunted by visions of the ants, but Billy has a surprise, and everyone's not always happy to see him. And just why is that office building following Peter?
FIRST SCREENED: 24 August 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Mark Hamill, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Jacques LacanSYNOPSIS: Billy reveals his true identity to Wilbur. They kiss and make up stories about the old days. Peter is stuck in the mirror stage, shouting the name of his father, but the carnival's in town and all's right with the world. Or is it? Filmed in black and white, no one notices. Something's cooking downtown -- the police have no proof, but suspect ants. Then a gruff detective lightens up as the National Guard combs Ohio.
FIRST SCREENED: 31 August 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Mark Hamill, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: The Plastic Ono BandSYNOPSIS: Joanie gives Wilbur a special gift that raises Chauci's eyebrows. This is no time for Billy, and it soon becomes clear. Wilbur leaves for Manhattan, convinced about the turtles, but the office building stays put. The steadycam's in pieces in the Valley, leading Peter astray. There's a new surprise in store, and clouds don't always have silver linings. Back at the support group, a curious message from the spirit guides leaves everyone's mouth agape.
FIRST SCREENED: 7 September 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Scarlett O'Hara, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: The DispossessedSYNOPSIS: A romantic interlude turns sour when the pool overflows. Peter has big plans for Billy, while Joanie goes shopping just in time. Only Wilbur knows which way is up, and he's incommunicado. Several medium shots later, can Chauci get things done? A local shepherd fills in the blanks as our heroes dither. Down at the mall, Joanie's accosted by another product and understands the environment. How will the election shape the body corporate? Peter has his doubts about Joanie's hidden past.
FIRST SCREENED: 14 September 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Scarlett O'Hara, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Roy of the RoversSYNOPSIS: A lucky win and a holiday in Australia, filmed in New Zealand. Chauci misses Wilbur, but Joanie tells all with a chuckle. The Zombie Brothers fly in from the coast to huge acclaim. Peter begins to think better of it, but no way is Billy getting left at the altar a second time. A car chase, but who has the Olympic medal? Time out for a day at the beach. The courtroom battle is heating up, and shared accomodation makes for strange bed linen.
FIRST SCREENED: 21 September 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Scarlett O'Hara, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Kent Steedman from The Celibate RiflesSYNOPSIS: Big trouble in confined spaces as Peter reveals a secret. A soothsayer pauses for plastic surgery as Billy's love for the bottle shows no bounds. When Chauci's on the case, Joanie knows the ants are involved, but will her message get to Wilbur in the New Hebrides? Peter thinks the vertical hold is slipping, and calls a technician. All the chickens are coming home to roosters. Chauci's late for an important appointment when the penny drops. And the ocean tells no tales, as Billy's about to find out.
FIRST SCREENED: 28 September 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Scarlett O'Hara, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: The Unbearable Lightness of BeingSYNOPSIS: After the movie everyone returns to the ship, but Joanie forgets to count heads and the inevitable happens again. Giant ants steal Billy's present, and Peter is heartbroken when Chauci explodes. Joanie's determined to make amends. When duty calls, can nature be far behind? A man from the government hands back the camera. Was that really Wilbur driving a tractor? Axel's not convinced he's seen the last of Chauci, and a snow storm leaves everyone on edge.
FIRST SCREENED: 5 October 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Scarlett O'Hara, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Francis BaconSYNOPSIS: A portrait of the Pope reads the eulogy for Chauci as Peter hikes through Montana, looking for clues. Joanie uncovers a tractor in the broom closet and calls Wilbur, but there's no reply. Her career as a helicopter pilot is going to have to wait. Scotland Yard have the answers, but the questions go unnoticed. Suddenly, the lights go out! Who is that giggling in the dark? And when will the train leave the station? As Peter moves out of frame he drops the key to the mystery shopper. An ant-like shadow falls over it.
FIRST SCREENED: 12 October 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Scarlett O'Hara, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Bill and Ben the Flowerpot MenSYNOPSIS: Set ten years in the future and better for it. Peter adopts his younger brother, while Joanie searches her pockets for a handkerchief. A beggar knows the way is long and arduous, even for Wilbur. The gift shop closes, but bargains aren't always appreciated by the townsfolk, expecially when the snow keeps piling up. A mysterious envelope appears, to great consternation. Was Joanie really to blame? Billy's novel is released to widespread acclaim, but the good citizens of Ohio have a surprise for the author.
FIRST SCREENED: 17 October 2000
REGULAR CAST: Walter Abish, Joan Jett, Scarlett O'Hara, George Clooney
GUEST STAR: Mark HamillSYNOPSIS: Wilbur returns with the news in a sequence of montages. The ants are moving in the graveyard, but Chauci's casket is missing! When the office building sets her straight, Joanie listens. The gruff detective delivers Peter's backpack, but where's Peter? And who's flying that helicopter? Joanie's flatmate disappears and it's time to put differences aside. Will the dust settle in time for the party? And why isn't Wilbur's shirt buttoned up? Everything fades to black as Joanie looks resolved.
HOMEPAGE | EPISODE GUIDE | THE CAST | GUEST STARS | SCREEN CAPTURES
More Webjunk | Find Somefin' Useful
ted@magicdog.com
24 December 2000