great moments in parenting observed — so i’m down the beach this morning, & there are two men & a woman with five young boys between mebbe three & six years old, & one of the kids is just totally howling while the other four are just standing around quietly watching the adults trying unsuccessfully to calm the little howler down, & one of the men says, “if you stop crying we can go & have some ice cream,” at which point the howling kid starts up with a full-throated screaming yowl about not wanting ice cream & the other four all throw their hands in the air & start running around in circles yelling, “ice cream! ice cream! ice cream!”

honestly, if looks could kill, the guy who suggested ice cream would be face down in the sand… when last seen, the ice cream man was trudging off with an armful of still screaming three year old while the other two adults were trying to restrain the rest of the kids from stampeding off towards the closest ice cream vendor…

hi anne — happy birthday for last friday… i wuz thinking to myself that it wuz sometime around this time of year, & that i should check, but i didn’t, & now i’ve done gone & missed it…

justified ancients of mu mu — all aboard (last train to transcentral)…

wintery — raining, cold, & totally windy in sydney this morning… my proto-flu has transmogrified into a snuffly head cold, which is kinda annoying but isn’t completely peaking out on the overall Hideous Hacking Cough Scale of Hideousnessness (HHCSH)… on the bonus side, i’ve drunk so much lemon juice i’m now totally lemon-fresh…

take a break, printer driver eight — & the train conductor says… artificial intelligence might be some way off, but microsoft has already mastered artificial usefulness…

that’s right, sometimes a parrot talks — awk! awk! awk-awk! aw-aw-aw-awk! ah, the dulcet tones of australian wildlife… that bird needs therapy… (or mebbe it’s psychosomatic?) whatever. i just wish it wasn’t perched right outside my window…

sigh — came down with some kinda chesty bug on friday afternoon, so i’ve been spending the weekend moping around snufflin’ mucus & feelin’ mildly miserable, you know the deal… fortunately, spam is trying to cheer me up thusly:

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ah reckun — ah jus’ might git mahself one ah them there prestigious university deg-rees… no class sounds about right…

life during wartime — well, it all sucks… impossible to say anything about it that doesn’t sound glib, or obscenely interested, or obscenely uninterested… impossible to feel anything except supremely disempowered… how do you respond to things like this? (i wanna say, how are you supposed to respond to things like this, except that begs the question — who’d sanction the appropriateness of the response?) the papers & tv are reporting with a nauseating mixture of barely restrained glee (yeah! big bombs kick ass! look! a jet plane! & a cruise missile! how cool are cruise missiles!?!) or treacly, deep-voiced solemnity (& so we wait for further developments… as we begin the unhappy task of counting the human cost… as baghdad waits anxiously…)

fred! had lunch with fred on wednesday, he & chris were briefly stopping over in sydney before setting off on an extended tour around the country… they should be in tasmania now… it was so great to see him… they’ll be back in sydney in may for a slightly more lengthy stay…

they bite, they bite, they bite bite bite bite bite — so there i am, innocently visiting andrew on wednesday night & suddenly we’ve agreed to go & see dog soldiers…

tired chi — tai chi was kinda boring yesterday morning, but i wuz Feeling A Bit Weary About Everything, so mebbe i wuz just in a mood…

freight train defuses delusions of grandeur — yeesh. woke up early yesterday & did some laps of centennial park on the way to work… i’ve been thinking about mebbe joining a cycling club or something, & wuz talking to a guy in a bikeshop on saturday who said, sure, we do training rides on tuesday mornings in centennial park & we cater for all levels of cyclists… i guess yesterday’s sessions were catering for the über-fit ballistic level cyclists… i wuz cruising around at about 30k/hr & got passed by a freight train of about twenty-five people like i was standing still… no way could i keep up… & just to rub some salt in, about five hundred metres after they passed me, their coach blew a whistle & they all jumped outta their saddles & started sprinting… it was like that scene in star wars where the milennium falcon jumps into hyperspace…

cowboy bebop — was okay… it was too good to dislike, but not good enough to totally love… kinda cool in parts, but yeah, just a bit seen it all before in others… nowhere near as good as, f’instance, metropolis, or akira, or ghost in the shell… worth seeing, for sure, but not really a stand out…

the hills are meaner on the way to bundeena — aye carumba. it took me three & a half hours, but i made it to bundeena… it rained in the morning, but the forecast said it was gonna clear, so i took a snap decision & headed off on the bike, & yeah, soaked before i got outta tempe, & then it did dry up for hills & heavy traffic all the way to loftus, then hills & the occasional abusive hoon from loftus to bundeena… & yeah, i dunno what it’s called, but the climb outta the valley from audley is just insane… steep, & it lasts forever…

worth it — but yeah, even with hoons & hills, riding through the national park is kinda good… & stuart & jess have a fantastic place, up on a hill (naturally) overlooking the bay… went for a swim, did some lounging about, pretty cruisy afternoon… although, yeah, i was totally stuffed, & crashed out pretty much as soon as we got back to coogee (bike stuffed into the back of the cuore on the way home — the hills are insane on the way to bundeena, but they’re even worse on the way back… i’d need about another three years of solid training before i’d even consider coogee-bundeena return exclusively by bike…)

arrr, be it the white whale? splashing about at giles baths & gordon’s bay this morning, & wow, the water was fantastic, not cold in the slightest… & like, i dunno if everyone in sydney sleeps in or goes to work on a saturday morning or if there was some kinda shark or toxic chemical warning or what, but there was like totally nobody else there… floating about, watching the clouds wander past… kickin’…

daihatsu nosejob — makes about as much sense as cowboy bebop, but still, i’m gonna go & see it tonight (the bebop, not the nosejob…)

bundeena? where the hell is bundeena? we’re off to visit keri’s brother in bundeena tomorrow, which is sorta south, on the edge of the royal national park… if it ain’t raining, i’m gonna cycle & keri’s gonna take the car… i dunno whether to hope for rain or not… i mean, there’s hills in them thar, uh, hills…

open/sesame — met up with keri & joanne & loma & eve & george at the hollywood hotel last night then wandered next door to the yuill|crowley gallery for the opening of adam cullen’s new exhibition, far & away… mebbe not far & away his best work, but still some good stuff… my favourites were “our saviour” (your classic goat-headed figure — partly menacing, partly damaged, partly pathetic, strangely alluring) & “bad dreaming”, a big monochrome scribbly thing that was all nasty intimations & muddy energy… after the opening k & j & l & i kicked on to the uchi lounge, where i particularly recommend the homemade sesame tofu & the sautéed mushrooms with garlic & chilli…

tai me up, chi me down — the ancient, graceful practice of tai chi… & then there’s the way i do it…

the sun is back — early start today, left home just on sunrise as the sun broke through patchy clouds to make it to my first tai chi class at 7.30… (i’m doing a ten week course organised by the staff development unit — now i am totally salaryman nielsen) it was fun, although difficult to shake the feeling that i looked like i was doing some kind of interpretative dance… or, at the very least, a dance which required some kind of interpreter…

fun, though — still, it was fun… very early days, but it feels like tai chi is more my speed than yoga, which often felt like an assault on my body/body image… (that reflects more on my approach to yoga than it does on yoga itself… i just don’t have the requisite flexibility to get into a lot of the most basic asanas — except, perhaps, slackasana — so it always felt like i was wasting everybody’s time…)

on the other hand — i realise i’m not going to increase my flexibility by just sitting around & thinking about it… & yoga wasn’t always hideous… still, i’m gonna do this tai chi course, & then i’ll see how i’m feeling…

i’m sorry — your quest to have the coolest jeans in the entire world has been thwarted. i already have them. perhaps you could start looking for a nice jacket instead?

en garde, mudguard — yes, well… still some residual splashing, but the whole covered in mud ’n’ ick factor is down from monday’s all time high of 9.9 to somewhere around 2.2 to 2.5… i can live with that… next project: tiny windscreen wipers…

peaky — weird. reading some street press over the shoulder of a guy on the bus yesterday afternoon, & there was a little thing about radiohead’s new album, which is due for release in early may, & their guitarist was going, “it’s really good, it’s the best thing we’ve done, it’s kinda like all the best bits from the bends & ok computer & kid a & amnesiac all put together…”

so then i go — “oh wow, cool.” & then i think to myself, “sure, he’s gonna say that, he wants me to buy the album…” & then i think, “wait on, it’s radiohead, they’re beyond that simple corporate hype, it must be really good…” & then i think, “sucker, c’mon, being beyond corporate hype is like, a classic corporate hype strategy in itself.” & then i think, “but i’m gonna buy it anyway, so just forget the whole corporate hype/no corporate hype dilemma. the album must be really good.”

& then i go — “but, you know, every time i write something (well, not every time, but you know, when i finish something) i think it’s as good if not better than anything i’ve finished previously, even if it’s not… so mebbe he’s just too close to it at the moment to tell, & i’m just gonna hafta wait to listen to it…” & then i thought, “wow, it will just totally suck if the album sucks…”

warning: what passes for the point approaching — which started me thinking about how artists seem to peak at different points in their careers, which led me to wonder if mebbe i didn’t peak a few years ago, & all that’s left for me now are rewrites & rehashes of things i’ve already done (empirical evidence suggests this could be so), followed by desultory appearances at readings at rsl clubs, & then the occasional nostalgic poetry cabaret, with mebbe a poem turning up in some kinda one hit wonders of the 1990s anthology…

rooty-toot-toot — so mebbe i should move to rooty hill so i don’t hafta travel too far if i do score a gig at the rsl?

& you know — there wasn’t any moment of transcendence, but i sorta discovered that really, i just don’t care… not in a hopeless, despairing kinda way, but more in a, well, if i hafta buy some leather pants & work up a greatest hit [sic] set, then i guess that’ll be okay…

hmmm — so have i attained some kinda zen-like tranquility, or just a comfortable acceptance of incipient mediocrity?

oh. my. god. every once in a while (well, okay, this is the first time, ever) i find a piece of unsolicited mail in my inbox that changes my life for the better… here is that piece of mail…

life enhancing — yes, i’ve already pre-ordered my copy… i can’t remember the last time i was so excited about a poetry book… berrigan is just totally important (to me)… mebbe too important… (but no! exactly important enough!) sigh… do i really hafta wait until the end of april? (why, yes. or mebbe even early may…)

mudlark — periodic showers were predicted for sydney, so mebbe i should’ve been expecting yesterday’s total torrential thunderstorm… & yeah, despite sitting out the worst of it, i still got drenched on the way home last night… & it was raining again this morning, so i bussed it today like a big, dry wimp… but i went out at lunchtime & bought myself some funky mudguards (well, relatively funky… well, okay, they’re mudguards…) which means i’ve now removed my last remaining excuse…

does my bum look big in this (spacestation)? went & saw solaris last night… i’ve not seen the original film, nor read the book, so maybe the hollywood version is but a pallid echo, et cetera et cetera, but wow, i was totally blown away… it’s way freaky… & beautifully shot… &, well, george clooney… but yeah, i thought it was fantastic… [attempts to resist temptation to drag out kubrick’s 2001 as a point of comparison — just think big budget, pseudo-arthouse sci fi…]

who names these spacestations anyway? i dunno what they’re thinking in the future, but i’d be like, “you wanna send me to a spacestation? cool. what’s it called? prometheus? uh oh… ummm, wasn’t he the guy who tried to steal fire from the gods & finished up chained to a rock with a bird eating his liver?” i mean, wouldn’t that ring a warning bell somewhere? isn’t that a little bit, “oh, you decided to name your boat titanic?
”

but yeah, solaris — completely recommended. not dumb. gorgeous. textured. luminous in parts. psychologically interesting. way freaky. george clooney. zombies from beyond space & time. (but not in a dumb way. no, really.) go & see it if you’ve even a passing interest in sci fi… i thought it was deeply thinky… it made me remember why i like SF so much, even though SF cinema is so often incredibly disappointing… it’s the SF film as a vehicle for ideas & not simply as an excuse to sell toys &/or string some special effects together…

having said that — if anyone has the naked dr chris kelvin action figure i’m willing to trade all my plastic godzillas for it…

traditional announcement of impending redesign — okay, i’m about to redesign the site, & may well break some things in the process… [traditional definition of about to: i.e., at some point in the next month…]

capricorn one, restless energy two — whirling, whirling into a cerebral revolution…

An attitude transplant is ready to set you whirling into a cerebral revolution. You’ve always prided yourself on being a steady, reliable person. That’s why all the unusual thoughts and crazy ideas that pop into your mind may seem troubling at first. You’re entering an extremely innovative cycle. This 8-year period will prompt you to take a variety of short trips as a means to burn off all the restless energy that’s been building inside you. Get ready to acquire some cutting edge skills.

oh yeah — am i ever ready to acquire some cutting edge skills… but do i have the stamina for an eight year cycle of innovation?

did i say spring? mebbe i meant first & last swim ocean swim of autumn… the seasons are so complex…

vestigal — so yeah, it’s not a genuine windproof cycling vest, but i grabbed my budget fleecy off the clothes rack & dug my full-finger gloves out of the storage cupboard & wind chill’s again no longer a factor… as an added bonus, my cheap fleecy is a kinda dirty mustard yellow, so i look like a giant, grubby pikachu… or mebbe a slightly over-ripe banana… which reminds me, i need a new helmet… & once i’ve got one, i really need to stick my stick-on furry ears to it…

typeslowly.org — via keri…