hacked on by dave — “Winter’s coming,” says el davebot, “The signs are all there. It’s getting cold, and everyone is updating their blogs more infrequently, except for ChrisT, who is just plain anti.”
1-2-3 o’clock, 4 o’clock slump — well, it’s been about a week, & i’m just about back on sydney time, but i haven’t quite managed to shake my apparently regular three to four o’clock slump…
poor baby — which is not meant to be an attempt to excuse the scarcity of updates, i’ve just felt a bit out of phase is all… partly tiredness, but partly a feeling of dislocation, & partly kinda feeling like there’s nothing much to say… although i’m starting to reconnect as the days go by… (&, of course, to remember that not having much to say hasn’t been any hindrance before now…)
note to self — do things when they hafta be done… ’cause yeah, here i was thinking i’d organised everything pretty well, paid all the bills that needed to be paid, sorted things out at work, booked tickets, redirected mail, blah blah… then the phone rings this afternoon… nothing too disasterous, more a breach of etiquette than anything, but you know, if i’d taken the five minutes to do what i should’ve done a few weeks ago instead of putting it off a couple of times & then forgetting about it completely, i coulda saved myself some embarrassment…
clarity — i was talking to my friend louise the other day about the incredible feeling of stillness that we’ve both experienced after coming back from our respective trips away… (the flip side of feeling dislocated…) it’s like a total zen thing… just a really nice, relaxed, unfocussed kinda focus, if that makes any sense… it’s like someone switched all my headnoise off or something… & yeah, despite feeling embarrassed about that phone call, it sorta feels like it was some other, earlier me who was responsible, & that i won’t be making that kinda mistake from now on… (although i do realise i’m living at the previous tenant’s address, so, you know, mea culpa… but yeah… uh… blithering? did someone say, blithering?)
walking — spent a lot of time walking while i was visiting keri, & really enjoyed it, so i decided when i got home that i’d try walking to work a few days a week… it takes about an hour, & i’ve done it twice now & yeah, it’s totally great… have found a route that strikes a nice balance between the full on city experience & some of the quieter backstreets, & yeah, sydney is just so beautiful… & i’m incredibly happy to discover that my legs are no longer doing the intensely painful thing they used to do… which could just be that i was too sedentary before & simply needed to do more walking to get them used to the idea, or could be a function of having new shoes that aren’t worn down into some weird, posture-aggravating shape… either way, i’m grateful… & i totally recommend walking through sydney if you have the chance…
things to do — hmmm, lemme see…
- sort out photos from my trip & get them on-line
- reenrol in my yoga class
- finish sorting out my clothes cupboard (i’ve lost fourteen kilos since the start of the year, which leaves me six kilos to go, & there’s a heap of stuff taking up space in my wardrobe that no one in their right mind is ever gonna be likely to wear, so i figure now’s the time… it’s weird, but good… i’m also gonna hafta get the suit i bought last october taken in… that or prepare myself for the day that my pants fall off in the middle of a meeting…)
- finish off a couple of writing projects (& start another)
- catch up with some friends
well, i guess that’s enough to get me started…
episteme
apple blossoms? how i have loved, & so loving,
am loved, as if i am? shadows of boys,
lips on a back step overlooking a pool? & yes,
perhaps these things, these fingers?
now i sleep in a kitchen,
ants crawl on me, & skin. & if
tomorrow comes, is that not yesterday,
as were you?
tracing the contours of complicity,
is my headache how i’m feeling? or these
our syndromes & complexes? will you wait with me
beneath fabulous debris? might we go walking?
for this & all my hopes did someone say?
look for the rain / white noise & phone calls
